There is something about the summer that brings a certain melancholy. When i was little i never had very many friends and often preferred to be alone. I would wander through the trails in the canyon near my home, sit at the rivers edge, just sort of drift through the summer letting myself get lost in the heat and the hours.
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My daughter spends entire days in her room, curtains drawn, headphones on. Texting and facebooking simultaneously. Then, suddenly, she will leap from her bed, bikini’d and smiling and run to the lake. No matter the weather or time of day.
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I have a summer cold. It is making me whine and be miserable. I want to go for a run, bust can’t. I’m browsing clothing and cooking and music festivals. Daydreaming about something better than this recliner and those tissues.
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My youngest son has figured out the joys of buddies and playing and nerf gun wars that cross fences and neighbourhood strife. I hear them giggling out my window, my car magically turned into a stealth spy bomber. They have no need for time or electronics, just food at regular intervals.
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Shane and i are doing well. We dream of some time alone. We make grand plans and watch as the days, weeks and months pass without a single romantic adventure. But, we laugh and we kiss. We argue and talk about investments and possibility. We get older and calmer.
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My daughter and i have been waiting to see an allergist for almost a year. We haven’t even had a phone call though i’ve triple checked the referral. She’s 11 now, but was supposed to be checked at 10. She’s really curious about trying nuts for the first time in her life, i hope one day she can.
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I have been off medication for over four years now. Sometimes i forget about those so very difficult years.
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My other son is a teenager now too. Thankfully he isn’t interested much in girls or parties yet. He still knows the magic of buddies and the non-existence of time.
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Sometimes i just sit and smile and remember that i ran a marathon.
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Happy Summer.